Who doesn’t love an affectionate and cuddly cat? There’s no better feeling that having a warm, fuzzy being on your lap after a long day at work. But sometimes these creatures are so unpredictable - their attitude can suddenly change out of nowhere. One day they’re begging for your attention, and then ignore you completely on the next. This leaves many owners wondering: “Why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore?”

The thought that your cat might have stopped loving you can be distressing. However, a cat who doesn’t like to cuddle will still love you very much. It might take a while to accept the fact that your cat also needs personal space.

If you still wish to form a better bond with your kitty, here are a few ways to get extra affection out of your aloof cat. Let’s check it out with Hyperfavor!

Reasons Why Your Cat Doesn’t Cuddle With You

Cats don’t really crave for attention

In general, cats are very independent animals. Unlike dogs who go crazy for our pets, cats usually decide that they’re still doing fine without excessive need for affection.

why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore

This can be traced back to the fact that cats are domesticated more recently than dogs. Dogs are intentionally bred to serve and please their owner, while cats more likely form a mutually beneficial relationship with humans. They came to live with us on their own will, helping us get rid of pests while we gave them the shelter and protection they needed.

Therefore, don’t be too disappointed when you realize that cats only consider humans as roommates who live in the same house and feed them. Their instinctive bond with us isn’t as strong as dogs’, thus their need for cuddles isn’t as strong as you might want.

Your cat doesn’t have experience with cuddling

The way your kitten is raised also plays an important role in determining how their relationship with people will turn out.

If your cat was not socialized properly when it was small, it could be a reason why they’re not well adjusted to your affection. They aren’t accustomed to behaviors that we consider ‘normal’, such as cuddling and hugging, because these acts of affection were never introduced to them. They just don’t understand your language of love.

why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore

Kittens who are separated from their parents too early can also be more aloof. Many kittens learn affectionate behavior from their mother, as they see her head-butting and cuddling with humans.

Your cat is sick

At the same time, if your cat was previously very loving and suddenly won’t come near you anymore, then it might be a sign of possible health issues. More than often, it’s the result of old age. Their body starts to experience muscle pain and aches, which make pets and cuddles become uncomfortable.

However, pay attention to what other signs your cat may show as well, such as refusing to move from one place or stop eating and using the litter box. When you suspect that the reason your cat won’t cuddle is because they’re unwell, bring them to the pet for a checkup as soon as possible.

It’s too hot to cuddle

Temperature can be the cause of why your cat won’t come into your room and sleep with you anymore. Although felines tend to love lying around under the sun, hot weather can make them uncomfortable and cause changes in their behavior. In colder seasons, you might find them sleeping together with you in the bed again.

why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore

Each cat breed behaves differently

Last but not least, the degree of affection a cat gives you also depends on the breed. Like us humans, each cat breed has a different personality and behavior. This explains why some cats can be extremely fond of being with their humans, and some are not.

A study in 2019 has confirmed that there are correlations between genetic and social behaviors in felines. Some breeds are observed to have lower tendency to seek human contact, and are more likely to take time getting used to cuddles.

Can You Train Your Cat To Be More Affectionate?

A few owners who saw the aloofness in their cat’s behavior may ask “How do I make my cat love me again?” Cats are unpredictable creatures, and they like to do things at their own pace. Thus, it will take longer to train cats to behave exactly the way you want.

See more: How To Discipline A Cat: Tips Every Owner Must Know

In order to make your independent cat more used to getting affections, here are a few things you need to remember:

Avoiding cuddles doesn’t mean that your cat hates you

Just because your fur baby enjoys being on their own, it doesn’t mean that they’re not affectionate at heart. Sometimes you just need to accept that the way your cat shows their love can be different.

why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore

The kitten may not like to sit on your lap, but they can say “I love you” by purring when you’re near, spending time playing with you or giving you head-butts. Some cats are also very vocal about their love for you – they’ll give you their special meows when you talk to them!

Patience is key

For friendly cats who didn’t learn about cuddling when they were kittens, gradually introduce them to this behavior. Start showing affection where they’re comfortable, and slowly increase the touching. 

You can award them with food after giving pets, or use their favorite toys to play with them. This positive reinforcement will ensure your cat that petting will be a pleasant experience. Make sure that your cat feels safe and content at all times, so that they’re comfortable showing affection to you. Soon, your fur baby will come to your lap on their own will.Why Won’t My Cat Cuddle With Me Anymore

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This process can take several weeks or even a year, but be very patient and encourage the kitty for even the slightest improvement. Never try to assert your need for cuddles on them too strongly, as it can eventually come out as a negative experience for the cat. They won’t cuddle with you anymore if they feel displeased.

Sometimes they just need time for themselves

My cat is not affectionate anymore”, you might exclaim as your fur baby refuses your invitation for cuddles and would rather play with their toys instead. Well, just like us humans, cats have more than just one priority in their life. There are other interesting things to do, such as exploring the house, seeing out of the window or hanging with your other pets.

why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore

Receiving pets and affection can also be overwhelming sometimes. Give them the necessary time to be by themselves, as cats are independent by nature after all. Sooner or later, they will jump into your arms and ask for cuddles again.

No two cats are the same

It can take a while for your cat to learn how to snuggle. But some cats might never pick up the habit however hard you try, and that’s totally ok! They just feel like it’s not their preference, and we should respect their decision. Spend time playing with them instead, and try to give them personal space when they want. They will surely show you affection in their own ways, too.

Most Cuddly Cat Breeds

If you’re looking for a friendly kitty who loved to cuddle with you at all times, then consider these suggested breeds. They’re famous for their gentle personality and love being on your lap. Your cuddle time will surely be more enjoyable than ever.

Ragdolls are one of the most affectionate cat breeds you can find. They are calm, sociable, and very devoted to loving their owners. These cats are very happy to be near you, and won’t be mad if you pick them up. Ragdoll cats are always ready to be the perfect snuggle buddy whenever you need.

Ragamuffin cats are also notorious for their loving nature and attachment to their owners. They are always excited to be given attention, and get along with other pets easily.

Persian is also another breed on the list of cuddliest cats. Whenever you try to sit down, they will find a comfortable spot to snuggle right next to you, or immediately climb on to your lap. These cats seem to never get enough of your pets!

why won’t my cat cuddle with me anymore

If you want a teddy bear-like cat who loves to let you hug them, the Maine Coone will be the choice for you. Despite their big size, they love nothing more than being near you and spending the day napping in your arms. That’s why their nickname is “gentle giants”.

Finally, a breed who is beautiful to look at, Siamese cats will be the star of your house. They demand that you give them full attention, and love to follow you around. Nothing in the world feels better than cuddling with them on the bed and taking a nap together!


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